A Boltzmann Brain walks into a bar

Have you ever pondered what it would feel like to fall into a black hole? Or wondered, as you observe a black cat turn the same corner twice, whether reality is really all it's cracked up to be? If consciousness involves such high innate latency (around 100ms), how do musicians play so perfectly, without a seeming conscious effort? How much can we really know about the world and ourselves and how much do we have to assume in order to begin to contemplate answering these questions?

An observable Cat {Wikipedia}

These and other questions were discussed at this year's FQXi (The Foundational Questions Institute) conference on the physic of information, held at the impossibly distracting Vieques Island (Puerto Rico). As a layman who's been exposed to a few snippets of it, I can regrettably say I understand very little of what was discussed. Quantum Physics, a known buzzword, now commonly weaved into the vocabulary of charlatans and quacks, is a mystery. As the great Richard Feynman put it, "If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don't". And yet, it seems to be governing our existence in scales and ways we can barely imagine and produce ridiculously accurate test results.

The title of this post references an issue within physics about the possible emergence, through quantum fluctuations (in which particles seemingly spontaneously come in and out of existence), of something so complex as a brain, with its own unique thought patterns (see Wikipedia here and more advanced stuff here). This is similar, to some extant, to the idea of a room full of monkeys that randomly type the entirety of Hamlet. While extremely unlikely, it's not impossible that over a great length of time (longer than the average queue at the local post office, some say), such an endeavor can be completed. In this year's conference, however, it's been suggested that the underlying physics may not be so supportive of the emanation of floating disembodied brains in the vastness of space after all.

Whether we are brains-in-a-vat, souls trapped inside a frail body, a part of the greater consciousness of the universe or simply our bodies, we need to make sure to include in our basic assumptions, other than that that we can make sense of the world, that we want to. As we live and die we affect one another in more than the observable way. But sometimes, it seems, it would be easier to understand quantum physics than to understand your next door neighbor.

On the music front, and not completely unrelated, I've been listening to quite a bit of Johnny Flynn, whom I mentioned before. Flynn is about to start a big tour encompassing the US, Canada and Europe in support of his latest album, Country Mile (recommended).

Johnny Flynn - Einstein's Idea {from Country Mile}

Johnny Flynn - The Ghost of O'Donahue (Live)

Find Your Spot

This was a hell of a year for me. As in hellish, really bad. As the years progress you are expected to be wiser and more experienced. What is the nature of this mystic wisdom that is supposed to accumulate as time passes you by? I'm not sure.

They say that the basis of wisdom is "I do not know" or at least the recognition of that fact. If that is true, then I am wise indeed. I have re-learnt several important lessons this year (that I will probably revisit next year as well thanks to my amazing memory). One of them is the importance of context, how lack of information or the reliance on false and misleading presumptions can lead to cognitive and emotional errors and mishaps. The view of the world and its people is always partial and to judge according to this partial knowledge is to inevitably err. And yet, additional data will never be quite enough for a full and comprehensive picture. It is always limited to and based on your own flawed perspective.

What do I do then? If gathering additional data alone can't help, what will?
Patience. Empathy. Imagination. Compassion. Constant learning and developing. Interaction. Challenge. Being aware of the tendency to judge and jump into conclusions and instead trying to be open minded and perceptive.

The coming year will bring many changes and challenges: a new flat, possibly a new job, a possible trip abroad with its own opportunities, maybe even a new iOS (yeah, haven't upgraded yet). Looking back, I think I've acquired some important tools of thinking and skepticism this year, and I hope to put them to good use.

I can't say I'm optimistic. I know where I live and what some of my limitations are. But in the end, my life is my own (another important lesson I've failed to internalize). It is for me to choose how to use it.

It is past time I do.

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I was going to write something a little different about music in this post, before I got carried away with the pseudo resolutions. I was listening to a recording of a concert by Nils Frahm on Youtube the other day. I got to it by the seeming randomness of life - one of Youtube's suggestions based on my previous listens.

The concert is made of several pieces and it was only in the second or so pieces that I got hooked or turned on. Frahm, it seemed to me, plays the piano with a sort of a strike, almost a hammering (though it's quite possibly the poor audio I had). It was an interesting technique, but somehow by that particular piece it had changed. I felt oddly connected, like I knew what he was trying to say and how. The technique seemed to flow and it wasn't hammering at all; it was a mode of music and feeling.

Today I listened to the same concert again and I wasn't able to pinpoint exactly where and when I got hooked. I still felt the music and enjoyed it, but the experience was different.

So what is it that gets us hooked on some of the times and not the others? The way we listen, open ourselves to it? The environment and technical parameters? Our state of mind? Is this the upside of jumping to conclusions that might have ended quite differently had I gave my first listen today instead of that other day? Will I now on future listens always look for that point in the track when I thought and felt "yes, this is it" (and thus ignore, to some degree, the present)?

What are we shutting our eyes to when we're looking for that one thing?

Take a listen. See if you can find that spot that works for you.

Oh, and Happy New Year.

Nils Frahm - Live @La Route du Rock 2011

Nils Frahm's web page and twitter.

This Week's Realities

As you may have noticed, I took the last few days off of this reality and into delved another one. Actually, make that two realities, sometimes interacting with one another, but each also self contained with its own rules and wonders.

The first was World of Warcraft. As I mentioned before, I immersed myself in this fantasy driven world, getting totally hooked in the process while also trying, now desperately, to pause and think about the experience. It occurred to me there are a few basic principles underlying it:

1. It's a lot easier and much more fun to play and work as a group. It's also very much possible to retain your sense of individuality while working in consort.
2. There are no "Save" or "Load" buttons; since you can be brought back to life, there is no actual and permanent death - except, in a way, when you log out. That is the only way you stop existing in the world (or you just sit in some deserted corner AFK).
3. People come in all shapes and sizes, manners and behaviors. The variety can astound you at first, but after a few minutes you may wonder how it could be any different. You may try to categorize them by vocation, trait or skill, but each person is unique and will not come again. It may be a characteristic, but ultimately each persons defies categorization, unless to create his or her own genre.
4. It's always possible someone will surprise you and help you when you least expect it, for no reason other than to help and perform that random act of kindness.
5. The world is beautiful, stunning in every resolution and perspective, from mountain tops, forests and deserts to the fauna, flora and sentients that inhabit it.

I wonder if any of these can be carried over to my other realities.

The second reality was deep within the smoky blue atmosphere of Leonard Cohen's Live Concert in London CD I mentioned earlier. I may try to seek wisdom all my life and it would still not be so eloquently expressed in a single Cohen song.

A third reality is this, the blogosphere. I've come to perceive it as its own bubble of hype, feeding itself and the people writing and reading it, marked by its own rules of conduct, its own genres and personalities. So now I come back to it, ready to continue my work.

This post's featured artist is Eric Sarmiento, an indie pop singer-songwriter from New Jersey. Aside from his must-read bio on MySpace, Sarmiento creates curious tracks with a very distinct presence of their own, that has a sense of promise of much more to come. After a musical career spanning several groups, he has released his debut solo album, The Declaration of Independence, a few months ago.

Check out Eric Sarmiento on MySpace for more tracks and info and get his intriguing debut album on his home label, Alchemist Records.

Eric Sarmiento - Reptiles {MP3} (from The Declaration of Independence)
Eric Sarmiento - Alejandra Told Me {MP3} (from The Declaration of Independance)

Song of the Morning: Shape Changing Sky

Is God fallible? Can God create a rock so heavy even he cannot pick up? According to the modern version of this ancient wondering, the answer is yes. The answer lies, as with many other things according to everyday capitalism, in money. More specifically, in how money is produced.

For example, the American coins are produced by a single agency (The United States Mint) in a very specific process. Theoretically, though God can conceivably create a second replica coin, it would still be considered fake, even though it would be virtually identical to the original one. So in essence, God can't create "real" money (never mind the church's collection plates). This is supposedly an atheistic argument, as it follows that God is not all powerful as is classically described.

To counter this, theologians might argue that since God has created the world and with it metals and man who enjoys toying with them, he also created (by proxy or as some would term 'inadvertently') the coin and therefore in some sort of a bizarre way there can be no forgery of coins (as they are all the work of God). This might be well received among certain elements in the criminal world, but would be a bit more difficult to grasp by most.

This illustrates what I think the real problem as far as God is concerned: not whether God exists, but how do you define God. After all, how can you agree or disagree about the existence of God, let alone trying to reach any conclusion, without knowing or making a conjecture as to what God is (and isn't). This opens a lot of questions, such as can you actually define God (or anything at all, for that matter), what qualities should God have and what he/she shouldn't, can God be actually addressed in regular human expressions ("he"/"she"/"they") and so on.

As an agnostic, I think the questions may be more important than reaching any 'definitive' answer. Because in questioning God, we also question ourselves, and as far as biology, art, politics, physics, philosophy, psychology and a host of other fields of knowledge suggest, we are no where near an answer. We merely try to ask the 'right' questions.

A similar sense of wonderment, I think, exists in music and its enjoyment. So this post's song comes from Vancouver, Canada's indie singer-songwriter Aaron Cadwaladr, with his own beautiful musings.

Check out Aaron Cadwaladr on his website and MySpace for more info and updates. Buy his debut LP here or on iTunes.

Aaron Cadwaladr - Shape Changing Sky {MP3} (from Shape Changing Sky)

Choices: The Schopenhauer Cure

My next item on the reading list was "The Schopenhauer Cure" by Irvin Yalom. Aside from a Psych text book here or there I haven't read any of Yalom's literary work thus far (and I probably should). This is also the case with Schopenhauer, a 19th century German philosopher, the absent but very dominant character and force throughout the book.

In short, the book tells the story of an aging psychiatrist, focusing on his final year of leading a relationships working therapy group, as he is slowly dying from cancer. He introduces a new participant to the group, a former patient (or is it client?) that while under his care failed to show any improvement in his sex addiction, but now claims he's been cured by the philosophical insights of Schopenhauer.

The real crux of the tale, I think, is the desired nature of relationships, if one exists. According to Philip, the new participant in the group, life is full of suffering and pain, and similarly to Buddhist thought, some of these hurts are born out of attachments (such as relationships). Therefore, one has to cultivate himself and withdraw from life, living as an observer without taking an active part of life (as it will only lead to more pain).

Opposite of this misanthropic view (of philosophy), Yalom places psychology, almost horrified at the idea of the normal view of man's relations to himself and those around him would be challenged. But such a challenge does take place (to Yalom's credit), even if very subtly and in a somewhat watered down and biased way. While the obvious engineered outcome is clear from the start, there are some moments of hesitations and doubt, enriching the psychological starting point view with new perspectives, for those willing to listen and learn.

This post's songs are about the quest for a cure, from all sorts of pains and ailments. The first is from avant-garde jazz band The Bad Plus, and the other is from indie rock band Dawn Chorus. Both tracks will be hosted for a very limited time and are intended for an introductory purpose only.

Check out The Bad Plus on their website, blog, MySpace and last.fm pages. Buy their album here.
Also give Dawn Chorus a listen on their MySpace and last.fm pages.

The Bad Plus - Radio Cure {MP3} (from For All I Care, originally by Wilco)
Dawn Chorus - I'm Cured! {MP3} (from Florida St. Serenade)

Song of the Morning: Society

Getting away from it all - is it possible? Is it feasible to flee that mutually oppressive support system more commonly known as "Society" in any real sense? About 3 years ago I've had my own modified and highly diluted version of escape. It was the best time of my life (pictures on Flickr). A much braver man than I went all the way and paid for it with his life.

His name was Christopher McCandless. A strong willed young idealist, he seemed to have felt uncomfortable in the modern American culture. This, and his admiration for the like of Jack London and Thoreau, have led him to become a sort of a drifter, moving between different jobs and places at will, living as autonomously as possible. Finally, he realized his long lived dream for an "Alaskan Odyssey" and lived in seclusion in a deserted city bus for a few months. There, he eventually succumbed to either food poisoning or malnutrition and died.

His story inspired a book by Jon Krakauer titled "Into the Wild", which was eventually adapted into one of my favorite films in 2007, bearing the same name. The soundtrack of that film is the beautiful and haunting debut solo by Pearl Jam main vocalist, Eddie Vedder.

I went on my "great" adventure before I've found out about McCandless' fate, so I didn't go to that last bus park site to pay respects. Instead, I am left to wonder how much self-sustained and independent we can actually be. As Lewis Hyde said, even famed Thoreau wrote his "Walden" thanks to the generosity and assistance of his friend Emerson, so there was no absolute self-reliance there. So, is the need to break away doomed from the start? Perhaps this take is a little too adversarial, over emphasizing the individual. Perhaps, in a closer view to Hyde's, just as the "Genius needs to tinker in a collective shop", as an open and receptive individual who creates and operates on the existing common basis, it is the everyday man that lives in a similar web of influences. McCandless' tragedy then is compounded by the lost potential to interact, by realizing that the power and uniqueness of the individual are not the only standing qualities he may have to offer, but also his openness and the willingness to learn and to teach.

I woke up this morning with "Society" in my head. Perhaps I should keep it playing.

Eddie Vedder - Society (from Into the Wild)

Facing the Music: The Two Stevens (and John Darnielle)

I'm dedicating this weekend to music. You might ask: "how's that different from most other weekends thus far?". Well, first, thanks for the question. Second, it's not going to be dedicated (just) for listening but also for a rather heroic (and probably futile) attempt to start and finish the one-before-last of my papers, which deals, surprisingly, with music. More specifically, it deals with the controversy of whether music plays a role in human evolution and if it does, what is that role.

To do this, I will need to describe two of the main sides in this controversy, namely that of Steven Pinker (music is an auditory 'cheesecake' and Not an adaption) and that of Steven Mithen (music and language both developed from the same proto-musilangauge with music having a distinct role to play in human evolution). Naturally there are other views (such as one that claims that music is an adaptaion without any specific claims to a joint music-langauge progenator), but I do have to set bounds for this paper (and besides, those other researchers may not be named Steven...).

As this question deals with evolution it has no clear and resounding answer - which is a good thing (there would be no controversy otherwise!). Personally, I'm not sure I want this issue resolved. Having a mystery such as music in my life seems almost like a privilige in this rather explained age. Why Do we love and need music when it does not seem to have any survival-related benefit (or so some claim)?

To me, music definitely has survival related benefits. As most who know me may guess, a large part of my nutrition is actually non-physical in origin. So apart from the usual soul food, music is top in my dietary requirements. There are all sorts of musics and songs: some dietary, some require longer digestion periods, other are quick on the ear (and tounge) and just melt away. And there are those that provide energy and inspiration for the short and long runs.

The Mountain Goats' "This Year" began for me as such a song: an upbeat, determind melody with the repeating chorus saying "I am going to make it through this year if it kills me" (and the final lines closing in "there will be feasting and dancing in Jerusalem next year"). For a tough a year as I'm having, what could be more fitting?

But a caerful listen to the lyrics (and the other songs in this beautiful album) revealed a more complex story. The determination in the song was now filled with pain and resolve born out of past fear and experience. The hope to hold on for just one more year had possible departure or esacpe at its end rather than your ordinary "prize". This is because this song deals in painful earnest with the lyricist's history as an abused child, and specificaly describes one day of temporary escape from it. All of this hasn't hindered this song's capacity for inspiration; it may even have increased it (even if for some additional reasons).

The video clip below perplexed me for a bit as the storyline (the band being held hostage and forced to sing) is somehwat odd and does not deal directly with the lyrics. However, it may be delivering the message as a metaphor by Darnielle being forced to finally tell his story, a sort of a theraputic endeavor. So music does serve a purpose, it seems.

The Mountain Goats - This Year {MP3} (from The Sunset Tree)
The MP3 will be hosted for a limited time only and is intended for introductory purposes only. I recommend buying The Sunset Tree as it should be listened to as a whole album.
The Mountain Goats' picture is from their Last.fm page.

Song of the Morning: Forgiveness

So it's Day of Atonement, again. Sounds like something out of a science fiction or a fantasy movie, doesn't it? The weird though friendly aliens have a bizarre and morally intriguing day long ritual in which we (the viewers) get a glimpse of some ancient and wise culture (though we, through the main protagonist, eventually refute or reject its ideas, while keeping good relations with the locals in case we ever need to refuel there again). Or maybe I've just been watching too much Star Trek lately?

I'm not a practicing Jew and I have no intention of starting now. Saying that, there are some interesting ideas this day can symbolize. Unlike Christianity, Judaism has no regular absolving mechanism except in the sanctity of this day. Even so, folk beliefs stress that the important area in which to ask forgiveness for and reconcile is the human relations (while the relations between man and god are important, you must first deal with the people you live with). God, it then says, sits in judgment and determines, not too much unlike Santa Clause, whether you've been a 'good boy' and so deserve to live or maybe you've been 'naughty' and would have to end your sorry existence on this earth. Also, there are no presents and you have to fast for 24 hours.

But seriously, the day does carry special meaning and significance even to non religious people. It is the single day in the year when it is quiet. No cars, no radios, no TV. Just children on bicycle in the street, families strolling by, echoes from the synagogues. It's as though the universe changes into some mirror existence of a simpler (somewhat boring if you're of a certain mindset) life.

I find it strange and simultaneously very human and understandable that we still need some God figure (or is it father/mother figure?) to turn to, to make sure it will be alright, that if we follow the rituals it will all be forgiven and washed anew. As Kant said, man refuses to grow up, and who wants to anyway? Why not remain the rebelling teenager who secretly admires and resents his maker, knowing that he will be forgiven no matter what?

A hard day for hard thoughts. Almost like any other.

Engineers - Forgiveness (from Forgiveness)

(Bleeding) Song of the Morning: Words, etc.

Blimey, what the heck is wrong with this darn pre-owned vehicle? This bleeding Judas Priest won't play!
Ah, I had you there for a moment. No? Then how did you figure out what I was talking about?
I'm thinking about exploring the subjects of euphemisms and minced oaths and trying to tie them into the use of tautologies in natural languages. After all, maybe we're talking about similar phenomenons from different perspectives. They all utilize expressions and words to signify something other than the given text (or, indeed, the written/spoken words themselves).

In tautologies, especially cliches, the meaning can and usually is different from any direct and immediate interpretation. For example, the Yogi Berra saying "You can observe a lot by watching" seems like a tautology (rhetoric and logical and thus provide no new information on the world) but can actually carry added meaning (the importance of gathering intelligence, for one). Ah, pragmatics.

In euphemisms and minced oaths the meaning is also "hidden in plain sight", to use a cliche. It's obvious to the listeners or the readers a profanity was used and its exact type (and thus meaning) can be readily deduced or inferred from the form of the replacing word or expression.

So, in both cases a decoy that everyone involved in a certain context knows it as such is being used, while the true (or added) meaning is silently pointed to, in a civilized fashion.

Anyway, the Indie paper is currently under review and an abstract of it will be posted here (eventually). Till I get to the whole tautologies business I have some ancient Chinese logic tricks to unravel (don't ask). So in the meantime, here are three songs to use as a bridge between the previous paper (Indie music) and the next ones (tautologies and Chinese logic-music). The first is a classic by Mother Love Bone (which also deals with how words are used by different people). The other two songs are from the Irish indie rock-classical (yep, classical) band Clockwork Noise (MySpace, sort of associated blog), the first of which also deals with words while the other has a lovely violin riff.

Mother Love Bone - Man of Golden Words {MP3} (from Mother Love Bone)
Clockwork Noise - Choose Your Words {MP3}
Clockwork Noise - Egocentric {MP3}
Mother Love Bone's picture from their spot on Last.fm.

Featured Artists: Angus & Julia Stone

I'm (finally) approaching the final stretch of the school year. With four more papers to go and an exam at the end, I can begin to see the end of it. How much have I really learned this past year, however, I can't just say. I feel it should be about more than just the information and the details I've managed to accumulate. It somehow feels like at the beginning - full of doubts, not knowing where do we go from here and what do I do with it.

As work now is nothing short of insane, I have very little time to make any significant progress with these papers. There is one, though, that I'll probably start with and I hope to elaborate about when I can. It is concerned with Indie music and how it is similar and may even be considered a kind of an open source industry. In this I mean not just the artists and the producers themselves but also the fans who take an active and a special role in spreading the music and encouraging its growth and development.

Until I get started with that research, here's a pair of Australian siblings now touring in Europe (supporting Martha Wainwright) to great success, making wonderfully sweet music. Touring, playing, having fun - what else can be asked?

Angus Stone - River (Joni Mitchell cover) {MP3} (from No Man's Woman)
Angus & Julia Stone - Just a Boy {MP3} (from A Book Like This)
Angus & Julia picture from Last.fm.

Song of the Morning: Lucky

First, a disclaimer: I support skepticism. I think it is a healthy and necessary human behavior and way of thought (you'll soon see why I mention it).

A very admired professor of mine is in the habit of producing an anecdote which, he says, demonstrates the importance of skepticism. It goes something along the lines of:
"A man goes to the temple of Poseidon, god of the sea, where he is shown a lot of offerings made by those that were saved from drowning. 'Ah', he says, 'but what about those men who did drown?'".

My point is, and I'll probably ruin the humorous part of the anecdote, that this story is incomplete. Why? Because we don't get to hear the reply from the local priest. I'm sure the priest can produce all kinds of reasons (or excuses) as to the wickedness of those who drowned (or their lack of offerings before going on board that last fateful voyage...). But the reply of the priest is omitted, and one may ask if rightly so. After all, this story is not supposed to deal with the relations between science (represented by skepticism) and theology (represented by the absent priest). It is just suppose to show that skepticism is important. Well, is that a complete answer? I'm not sure.

Could another example serve us better? Suppose the man from the anecdote went to the horse racing tracks and was shown a wall full of pictures of happy people. Would he not ask "where are all those who lost in their bets?". Would not the reasonable reply be "since they lost, they were disinclined to give thanks to the gambling authorities"? Would that constitute a good answer? How is it different from the answer of the priest?

Doubt has no real end and its beginning is in the first breath and the first sight. Doubt doesn't paralyze out of fear; it is the certainty we perceive or believe to exist that causes that hesitation.
So, this post's songs are extraordinary beautiful covers of a beautiful Radiohead song (from OK Computer). I don't believe in luck; I have cause enough to doubt it. But there are some things, like this song, I don't doubt. They exist.

John Frusciante - Lucky (live)
Warren Haynes -Lucky (from Live at Bonnaroo)

Warren Haynes' picture from AllAboutJazz.com.
John Frusciante's picture from the blog PenguinsKnowWhy

Song of the Morning: Best Not to Think About It

I've been thinking about tautologies all day long. Don't ask me why; they're not in any paper I'm currently working on (that I know of). So finally, on the train home from work, I started scrabbling a bit in my notebook. When I actually got home and checked what a tautology is, I had to make some adjustments in my thinking. Here's what I came up with:

First, let's get the (semi)-formal definition out of the away: in propositional logic a tautology is a propositional formula that is true under any possible valuation (also called a truth assignment or an interpretation) of its propositional variables (Wikipedia). Straight forward enough.
Example: the not so meaningful proposition "A or not-A" is a tautology (oddly enough, in propositional logic, truth, as it is manifested in a tautology, is meaningless as it adds nothing new to our knowledge of the world, as Wittgenstein pointed out; it is the contingent truth that may hold the more interesting daily 'truths').

OK. But if we translate it to the natural language, for, shall we say "it will either rain or it will not rain" things get complicated. According to the law of the excluded middle there are only two options: rain or no rain. However, I propose, that for the 'only' part of the sentence to work (and thus create a tautology) one has to have some sort of "knowledge of the world" (whether it is about rain, the possibility of rain or even, perhaps, the application of logical laws on the subject matter itself). If this is so, then a natural language tautology is not pure a-priori but requires some sort of empirical elements.

There are three possible and mutually exclusive conclusions I can draw:
1. The proposition I gave as an example is not a tautology because of the supposedly empirical element (it requires verification and contains the possibility of it being not true).
2. The proposition is a tautology. Natural language tautologies, unlike formal language tautologies, do contain an empirical grain.
3. There was an error in my deduction/thought process and there is no empirical grain in the proposition.

Considering how tired I am right now, I'm leaning towards option 3.

This post's song, not unlike previous posts, has some pun intended. Regardless of my sorry, layman doubling here though, it is a good song by a good band.

Athlete - Best Not to Think About It {MP3} (from Beyond the Neighbourhood)
Band picture from their artist's profile on Last.fm.

Song of the Morning: Hope For Us

Hobbes and Leibniz are in. No, I don't (just) mean it in the popular term; I was finally able to write a few more paragraphs in my biggest paper this year (so far). This only leaves me the 18th-21st centuries in Philosophy, main eastern and western religions and all of Psychology (with William James attached). After that, it's just a matter of completing the Gedankenexperiment, writing the introduction, conclusion and intra-connecting chapters and that's it. Four more papers to go. Yay.

This post's Song of the Morning is rather emo-inflected, as it were, but still catchy enough to wake up to. It's title and opening line have a particular appeal for me these days. So, as I move on to Kant (it's because of him that I'm writing this paper, after all), just keep in mind: there is hope for us.

The Jealous Sound - Hope for Us {MP3} (from Kill Them With Kindness)
Band picture from MTV.com.

Song of the Morning: Irreligious Ecstasy

What do you feel when you listen to music? When you experience it? When you sing along unafraid or uncaring if anyone will overhear you? When you dance alone in the dark?
What are you when you are one with it?

While what we may enjoy may be different and there's no account for taste (or is there?), the capacity to enjoy music in the deep sense seems to be a universal trait. At least, I hope it is. While some physical aspects of this feeling can be explained, you still have to get the right "connection" to it - there's a definite subjective element at work. Sometimes I'd like a certain song, other times I'd have enough of it; sometimes I'd discover (or re-discover) a song that has been playing at the background.

The special times are when I manage to let go of myself and connect directly (or as much as I can without the neighbors interfering or my co-workers throwing sharp objects at me) and feel it, flow with it, like being carried in a mighty current towards a roaring waterfall. When the song ends, I feel drained but happy (or, more usually for me, deeply saddened), and very much alive.

This post's musical jewels are affected by religion and religious experience. The first, "Baba Yetu" by Christopher Tin, is an adaptation of the Christian "The Lord's Prayer" in Swahili. The second is a segment from the Misa Criolla, a unique blending of South American Christian Mass/Gospel music by Ariel Ramírez.

Can the feelings of wonder, deep meditation and ecstasy be fully explained by science (here and here)? Even as a non-believer I have my doubts (or perhaps especially as a non-believer). I don't have to share in a belief in order to respect it and those who practice it, especially when they create beautiful music, be it as a part of their worship or not (strangely enough, Mr. Tin seems to be creating music in his sleep).

So, while I don't believe the existence of these feelings in themselves are any sort of evidence to the existence of God, I do believe it is a very strong evidence to the existence of a compassionate, creative and living Humanity, which is something we need to keep in mind just as much as the possible being of the Almighty.

Christopher Tin - "Baba Yetu" (from the PC game Civilization IV)
Ariel Ramírez - "Gloria" (from Misa Criolla)

Incoming Lull

It is quiet now;
That peace that was allotted to us continues to elude,
Elusive in its path, it's elucidating the eco-systems of our lives:
An intermingled puzzle of duty, denial and derivatives
So cunningly contrived as to demand its own object of belief
And so alarmingly complex as to register as unity.
But I know the storm is coming,
I feel the currents in the air;
And though throughout the tension's rising
It is in peace I find despair.

Farewell, Dr. Pausch

Yesterday I've learned that Dr. Randy Pausch, among other and many things the deliverer of "The Last Lecture", has passed away on Friday. I am still somewhat in a state of shock as I feel strangely touched by him and his words.

As I've mentioned before, Dr. Pausch has been battling cancer for the last nine months or so, and has chosen to spend his time not only with his loving family but also trying to pass along his message of life and passion about life. During this time, he has been able to reach out to many people on the net and in "real life", providing much needed inspiration (here at Carnegie Mellon).

People, including myself, have the capacity to learn from mistakes, especially in light of inspirations that walk among us, sometimes unseen. We don't always do so. Perhaps we need something extra to make that shift, to leave behind our past and start living.

Wittgenstein said something along the lines of "Death is not one of Life's events. We do not experience Death. If we understand eternity to mean not a temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present. Our lives are endless just like our vision, which is boundless" (rough translation from the Tractatus). If this is so, Randy Pausch is immortal.

Song of the Morning: Tobias Fröberg

Do you know how it's like waking up with a song in your head? And then 'hear it' playing over and over, sometimes repeating certain parts of it or changing a little of the lyrics or the melody?

I'm sure you do. Psychology tells us it's a sign of stress or maybe parts of an unfinished dream. But what sort of dream can be truly 'finished' or 'realized' at all? Not a very satisfying one, I should think.

Anyway, I've decided to try to bring as close as possible a song a day, that musical thought I woke up with or permeated my morning routine (teeth brushing, shaving, gawking at the mirror trying to muster enough strength and patience for the day's labor... you know what I'm talking about).

So, today I woke up with Tobias Fröberg' "Grace", from his 2006 "For Elisabeth Wherever She Is". I believe it was inspired by my last night's watching of one of Babylon 5's last episodes and the love story it entailed.

P.S - a couple of mental notes that came up on my way to work:
1. Is there a similarity between how Frege and Marx view language and money, respectively? Is money a sort of a language, a device that needs to be 'cleaned up' and become formal and therefore truly communicable and understandable? Are the power relations (Foucault-like) in the economical-monetary-financial discourses around money similar to the power relations surrounding the use of language itself?

2. What is the difference between rationality and irrationality? Rationality is supposedly rooted in Logic, but what is Logic founded on? How do we know and feel that a logical statement is correct? Could it involve supposedly irrational elements such as feelings and emotions? If so, then the difference between rationality and irrationality would depend on the actions or behavior arising from the thoughts or feelings, not the thoughts or feelings themselves. In other words, it would have to be context dependent to identify an action as rational or irrational. Does that mean that the thoughts or feelings themselves are neutral in regards to rationality, that it's all how they come into practice?

Tobias Fröberg - Grace (MP3)

For Kant

Is language the true barrier? Then why don't I write?
If thought is its own pretense, why does it delight?
Who am I to think me changed? The former or the latter?
And why is it so hard to keep myself from scatter?
Is Kant's frame enough or is it too little?
How can I go into this in any great detail?
"Sapere Aude!" he exclaimed,
And are the rest of us condemned?
The categories are our judges,
Juries quick in there to find us,
Human beast or Human being?
What is thought? What is meaning?
Verdict accepted and denied,
On time's anathema's we must glide,
Seeking no substance but our own,
To transcend that we had grown.


On a personal note: grow up, don't grow old.

Inner Voices

Those inner voices - what are they? How do we relate to them? How do they relate to us? What
kind of existence do they have, if any?

By inner voices I mean those quasi-collections of thoughts and emotions that act as representations of 'Significant Others' in our mind. Those we consult with, those who tell use to do this and not that, those who we imagine what they'd say and think about our choice of clothes. I'm not talking about a modern Jiminy Cricket or a Freudian super-ego, nor the detached voices that often plague a schizophrenia patient. Those voices represent others who we care about but they do so by being a part of ourselves, by being our own creation. They are an integral part of the human way to internalize others (and so play a pivotal social and ethical role within us) while also manifesting and testing desires and thoughts of our own (thus enhancing our creativity, our sense of order and our cohesive-seeming Self). Sometimes, they show that we are not alone in the dark.

But how is this phenomenon called? Why do some people get 'internalize' and not others? Are all
the representations the same (in essence, power, function, internalization status)? Where do they
fit in in relation to our 'own' internal monologue, our own main 'Stream of Consciousness'?

I'm looking for some answers.

Keeper of the Hollowed Tome

The empty pages are much sought after
(As the stain of steely ink does offer):
They keep our lore folded crisp
Lest recollection tend to lisp,
And future pass distorted truth
Limiting enlightened sooth,
Filling young with fancied notions,
Watch their heads! Their frantic motions!

Away with you, chars of black -
Let us not in this task grow slack,
The pictures tell a thousand words
Of plebs and snakes and mighty lords
Blessings, curses, all combine
In this sacred valentine -
Bloody language there to smear
an arc wide - and simply - disappear.